How do you know when you need to ask for help?

I recently had an interesting conversation with my brother-in-law's mother. She is a healthy, active lady in her 60s, and was inquiring about my business. When her son had previously approached her about this and utilizing our services, her response was that she was still in charge and that she will tell him when she would want his help. When she told me this, my response was "How are you going to know when that is? What if you can't tell him due to some unexpected problem?" These two questions had her start thinking that maybe she won't always be in charge, and may not be able to be foresightful enough to know when to ask for his or her other son's help.

I know it is difficult to ask for help when you are an active healthy adult in your 60s or older. From my professional experience of working in hospitals and emergency rooms, I can say most people admitted didn't anticipate whatever caused them to go to the hospital. Be it an accident, a fall, confusion, or sudden drop in blood pressure, many times neither the patient nor the family were prepared. That is why I strongly recommend families start talking about the inevitable now, when everyone is healthy and active. When the eventual care recipient can be part of the solution and provide many of the answers to some of the most difficult questions. Keep in mind, the questions won't disappear, in fact they will increase over time, but the person with the answers may not be able to tell you what they are.