There are news articles and videos all over the internet (
http://www.wfaa.com/video/yourdollar-index.html?nvid=353748) stressing the importance of talking to other family members about the care of an aging loved one. Unfortunately, families still tend to be reactive rather than proactive. It may be partly due to the aging parents not wanting to "burden" their adult children, or the children not wanting to face the reality of their parent's health. In either case, the adult children will be put in a situation that can quickly become overwhelming. Not only will the children be facing the possible financial responsibilities of their parents' care, but the emotional impact this care has on others in the children's lives. Let me describe a situation of a typical caregiver, Sally. She is a 46 year old married mother of two children, ages 12 and 9. She works outside the home, and given their current financial situation, not working is not an option. She is the oldest of 3 siblings, and none of them live in the same city as their parents or each other. One day, Sally gets a call from her parent's family doctor, who informs her that her mother is not doing well, and will need more assistance at home. Although her mother is still married to her father, his health is fragile. Furthermore, it is her mother who oversees many of the household responsibilities, such as cleaning, cooking, driving, and paying the bills.
- How is Sally supposed to go out of town for an unknown length of time?
- How will her two children be affected with their mother being gone?
- Will she lose her job?
- How bad is her father's health?
- Is he even able to take on some of the household duties his wife was doing?
- Will his health further decline?
- Does Sally's parents have any long term care insurance to cover the cost of in-home care?
These are just some of the questions families have to face if they are not prepared for a call like the one Sally received. These calls happen all the time. I know, as I was the one making these calls to the families. I was the one helping the families answers these and many other questions. I, also, know that many of these questions could and would have been answered if only the children would have talked prior to this phone call.
